Yes, that’s right – I’ve been doing one of two things very frequently this week. 1) Nothing or 2) Anything to avoid what I’m actually meant to be doing. I’m not sure if it’s the fact that Mercury finished it’s retrograde period a couple of days ago and we’re still in it’s ‘shadow’ before it moves direct once again, or if even that is an excuse for me not to ‘GET A MOVE ON!’ but the last few days have felt ever so sluggish to me. However, I still feel that nagging voice in the back of my head, reminding me that I have several things I really, really need to get done!
Just a few days ago I was feeling deflated and frustrated by ‘things not happening’ and yet, since I’ve had a welcome opportunity come my way, I am the one hesitating about the good I have been given or wondering if I am capable of doing what has been offered! The irony is not lost on me. And it reminds me that I am the only one getting in my own way of what I truly want.
How often do we ask for something and put the brakes on at the same time? How often do we get something and then push it away? How often to do we say ‘If I could just have (fill in the blank) then it would all be great!’ and then blind ourselves to the blessings right in front of us? Whether it be the relationship we want, a career boost, more money. It’s all one and the same. Because while our heart gets ever so excited at the idea, our fear creeps in and says ‘Hey, can I REALLY have what I want?’ ‘Do I really deserve it?’ ‘Who am I to be asking for that?’ And even if none of those feel applicable, a well-disguised whisper remains: ‘Oh my goodness, my life will change! Is that OK?’
While we’re quick to harp on about our fear of failure, it strikes me that we are often just as daunted by the fact that we truly could have a life beyond our wildest dreams. And while I do so believe that anything is possible and have seen this in my own life many times, I am very aware that in the dawdling, non-committal effort with my to-do list, I am delaying the inevitable. The inevitable TRUTH that I, like all of us, have so much to give, to share, to live and I want to make the most of my time here on the planet! I absolutely know that our purpose here is about so much more than what we do (I was almost housebound with illness through my teens) but I also know that if we are being all that we are, that we very often cannot help but do!
In 2012, we are fortunate to have multitude of ways to express ourselves and our gifts and when we say YES to everything we are, opportunities like the one I have been given this week, are easily shown to us. We just need to get out of our own way and moooooove, because if we wait until we are ‘completely ready’ then, well, I guess we’ll be waiting a long time, eh?
In the words of the very wise, Sheldon Kopp (and you can join me in saying this, if you like):
“I’ve never began any important venture for which I felt adequate prepared”
Now I’ve got that off my chest and my delay tactics in check, I better get going. Radio show tonight and so much to be grateful for!
I’ll write again soon!
Much love and compassion my fellow procrastinators!